


Red Carpet

by padfootagain



Category: British Actor RPF
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Romantic Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-09-17 18:39:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16979724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/padfootagain/pseuds/padfootagain
Summary: Right before attending the ceremonies for the BAFTAs, you and Ben have a huge row about hiding your relationship to the world.





	Red Carpet

**Author's Note:**

> Fluff and a little bit of angst. I hope you like it!

“It’s not the first time we have this conversation.”

“And it’s not the first time we have a fight about this.”

“You won’t hear me out!”

“I am listening to your arguments. But I don’t think that it’s a good idea to appear publicly as a couple.”

You heaved a frustrated sigh, finishing to fix your hair. You and Ben were supposed to head to the BAFTA, you were both nominated in different categories. And the question of dealing with the press about your relationship had risen up again. And it was creating tensions between the two of you like you had never had to face with him yet.

You wanted to act like a normal couple, but he wanted to hide your relationship. You wanted to arrive with him to the Awards, but he wanted to pick up another car and arrive right after you. You wanted to walk hand in hand with him down the red carpet when he wanted to act like your friend and merely give you a nod before the journalists.

The debate had been raging for weeks, months even. And you were tired of it. Exhausted of the constant fighting that it brought between the two of you. You couldn’t bear to hide anymore, not holding hands in the street, being careful whenever you went in a public place… you couldn’t live like that anymore.

“I don’t want any paparazzi to walk into our love life,” Ben went on. “I don’t want _anyone_ to walk into our love life.”

“I don’t want us to hide anymore,” you replied. “We shouldn’t have to.”

“If we want to protect this relationship, we have to hide though.”

He walked into the bathroom, standing behind you and looking at your eyes through your reflection in the mirror.

“It’s going to make everything complicated,” he said, shaking his head.

“The right things to do are rarely the easiest to achieve,” you replied.

A small smile formed on his face.

“You always have to play the philosopher, right…” he breathed, wrapping his arms around your waist, and dropping a sweet kiss on your shoulder.

But his soft touch and smooth lips were not enough for you to just give in this time. You couldn’t find the strength in you to live like this anymore, and you were not sure Ben understood just how much it made you suffer to hide your happiness to the world, to hide the best thing that had ever happened to you.

It felt like you were permanently walking with your head down when you used to look at the sky. It felt like crawling when you had been running. It felt like you were not really living your life now, except when the two of you were alone in this house you shared.

And Ben needed to understand that.

“Could you help me with my dress?” you asked, and he immediately pulled the zipper up your back, his fingertips brushing against your skin and sending shivers up your back, although you chose to ignore the reaction of your body to his soft touch.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered in your hair, his hands roaming across your naked shoulders, admiring your dark dress in your reflection.

You turned around, looking up at him. Your jaw was clenched, and he could see in your eyes that you were both sad and angry. And he hated to see these feelings in your eyes.

“I can’t live like this anymore, Ben,” you breathed, shaking your head. “I can’t keep on hiding this. We’ve been together for a long time now, we live together, you met my family, and I met yours. And you’re… you’re probably the most important person in my life. I’m sorry but I can’t play an act anymore. I just want to be myself.”

“That’s not what I was proposing to do…”

“It is though. I can’t be myself when we’re together outside of this house. And it’s killing me.”

You brushed a tear away from your eye before it could roll down your cheek.

“I’m not happy,” you confessed, and you could see that you were hurting him by saying what you truly felt, but you needed to let it out. “I’m not happy living like this anymore. And I understood at first, really I did. We didn’t know where this was going, we didn’t know each other well enough… But now it’s different. It’s serious between us. We both know how serious our relationship is now. We both know where we want to go together. I don’t have doubts about our future relationship anymore, I know what I want. I want to be with you, only with you, for the rest of my life. What is your plan then? We keep hiding this till our last breath?”

He shrugged, his jaw clenched.

“I don’t know,” he merely answered.

“Well, I need you to know.”

“I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m supposed to answer… to something like that. What do you want to hear?” he said, and you could see withheld tears mingled with anger in his eyes. “It’s not a flawless plan, but what if this show that is made out of _our_ lives destroys our relationship? What would happen then?”

“I don’t think that’s what is going to happen, Ben.”

“How can you know that?”

“Because I love you, and I know that we’re stronger than whatever people could try against us.”

You took his hands in yours, looking down at your intertwined fingers. The next sentence was breaking your heart, but you had to say it.

“I can’t keep living this way, Ben. Because you’ll never be ready. I can see it. You’re trying to protect us, but I don’t know if you’re doing all this because you’re really afraid of the press and the place it could take in our lives, or because you’re afraid of our relationship.”

“What are you talking about?” he interrupted you. “Of course I’m not afraid of our relationship.”

You looked up at him. You were sad, desperate even, but he could see determination in your expression as well.

And suddenly, it stroke him, how serious you were, how much it was hurting you, how far you were ready to go to make him see the truth.

And he was terrified.

“I can’t live like that anymore,” you breathed again.

“Don’t say that,” he pleaded, his voice barely louder than a whisper.

“But if you don’t want to make our relationship public, I can’t force you.”

“Don’t say it…”

“You don’t want to act like my boyfriend in front of cameras, then perhaps you shouldn’t act like my boyfriend at all.”

He shook his head frantically, knowing you were serious, knowing you meant every one of your words…

… knowing he could lose you right now.

He took your face in both his hands.

“Y/N… Y/N stop saying things like that.”

“And if you don’t want me to act like your girlfriend,” you went on, trying to ignore the tears that had formed in the corner of his eyes and were about to fall down his cheeks, “then I won’t act like I am anymore.”

“You can’t mean that…”

“I do though.”

He clenched his jaw again.

“I love you,” he breathed.

“I know you do,” you nodded, brushing a tear away from your eyes again. “And you know how much I love you as well. But you’re hurting me too much.”

“I never meant to hurt you.”

“I know.”

“I’ll fix this,” he said, sniffing as a tear finally escaped his wet eyes. “I’ll fix all this. I’ll make efforts, I’ll change things…”

“I don’t want you to change, Ben. You’re wonderful. You’re a wonderful boyfriend. You’re kind, and caring, and loving, and funny, and… you’re pretty much perfect. And I would never want you to change, I love you as you are. But this idea of hiding is simply a bad idea. And I can understand that you’re not ready to face this tidal wave of questions, and indiscreet interviews, and stolen photos… I understand that. But I am ready. And I’m tired of waiting for you to be. I reckon I’ve been patient enough, and now it’s hurting me too much for me to bear the pain any longer.”

You shook your head slowly.

“I’m sorry. I’m not strong enough,” you breathed, your voice on the verge of breaking. “I’m just not strong enough…”

The door bell rang and you sniffed loudly, straightening your dress before freeing your face from Ben’s hands.

“It’s my car,” you breathed.

You walked to the door, but you froze before opening it, your fingers tightly wrapped around the doorknob. You turned one last time towards him. He had followed you in silence across the house.

He was crying.

And you knew you were crying too, although you couldn’t feel the tears flowing down your cheeks. Your whole body was aching.

“I love you, Ben,” you whispered, but you knew he could hear you. “I love you with all my heart. If you need more time, we can just take a break. I’ll wait for you.”

He merely stared at you, still crying.

“We’ll talk about that after the ceremony,” you said, before opening the door, striding towards the black limo that waited for you.

When you climbed into the car, Ben’s was already arriving, parking behind your own limo.

You cried during the whole trip to the BAFTA. You cried so hard you were sobbing, and you knew the driver was looking at you with round eyes. But you didn’t care. You were not sure it was the best solution. You were not sure you had taken the right decision. Maybe you should have just waited. Maybe he would have come around in just a few more weeks…

What if he didn’t change his mind, and you lost him forever?

Just a few streets away from the awards ceremony, you finally forced the tears to stop, and you arranged your makeup. And soon, all traces of your sorrow were hidden under powder and eyeliner.

You thanked the driver, and elegantly walked out of the car, the bright lights of the cameras flashing and blinding you. You faked a smile, and took a few more steps on the red carpet. Some journalists were calling your name, and you walked to them, your shining smile still upon your face, although inside your chest, your heart was shattered into pieces.

From the corner of your eyes, you saw Ben climb down of his limo, the same fake smile as your own planted on his lips, and his elegant silhouette, wrapped inhis dark velvet tuxedo, was suddenly assaulted with flashes of lights, just like you had been seconds before.

You answered a couple of the journalists’ questions, but your smile flinched as Ben stopped to talk with the journalists right next to you. And you could barely hear the questions that were asked about your movie, as you listened to Ben’s conversation.

“That’s a very beautiful tuxedo,” the journalist complimented him. “I bet your girlfriend must think you look very handsome tonight. Do you always look so sharp?”

You felt him looking at you. You were both used to the pointless questions that were just meant to trap you in speaking about your love life.

Your heart stopped when you heard his low and deep voice answer.

“I don’t know, maybe you should ask my girlfriend directly.”

You turned to him, and you exchanged a glance. He didn’t need to speak for you to understand what he craved to tell you. He was sorry. He was willing to make amend.

You smiled an earnest smile, before turning towards the blond woman who was trying to figure out what all of this meant.

“Even sweatpants look good on him,” you answered, your tone full of humour. “That’s extremely annoying.”

He laughed, looking at the journalist again, who was still looking at the two of you with curious eyes.

“I guess you’ve got your answer,” Ben smiled.

You remained close to each other for the rest of the marathon across the red carpet, although you were not holding hands or anything of the kind. But you were okay with that. You knew Ben was making efforts already. He had given in to keep you by his side, and you knew he was making this for you, and not for himself.

But when a journalist started to flirt with you, and asked you if he could get a coffee with you if the next time he saw you in an interview he offered you roses, Ben turned towards him, ignoring for a few seconds the man he had been talking to.

“Actually, she prefers daisies,” he told the journalist, who stared at Ben with round eyes. “But I wouldn’t advise you to take the risk, I know her boyfriend wouldn’t like that at all.”

“Wouldn’t he now?” you asked back, a playful smile on your lips.

“No,” he answered, looking at you, an amused smile curving up his lips. “I wouldn’t like that at all.”

“Why… you’re playing the jealous guy now?”

“I’ve always been a jealous guy when it comes to my girl.”

You both laughed, before walking towards the next journalists, ignoring the surprised stares that followed you.

Once you finally arrived to the main hall, Ben leaned closer to you, nodding towards the toilets.

“Just a minute,” he whispered, and you nodded, following him.

He entered into the toilets, and checked that there was no one in there, before turning towards you again.

“We don’t have much time before being interrupted, so I’ll go straight to the point,” he said, taking your hands in yours. “I’m sorry.”

You shook your head.

“I’m the one who’s sorry,” you told him. “I went too far.”

“No, you didn’t,” he replied. “I needed to hear that. I… I hadn’t realized it was so important to you. I hadn’t realized you were suffering because of this. It’s all my fault.”

“You’re too hard on yourself.”

“I’m your boyfriend, and I wasn’t even able to see just how sad you were… I suck.”

“Of course you don’t 'suck’,” you laughed, tightening your hold on his hands. “You’re wonderful.”

“I thought I was protecting you,” he went on. “I thought I was protecting _us._ But I don’t care really. I don’t care about telling everyone we’re together. I just thought it would be easier for our daily lives to hide this than to deal with all the drama that the press will probably unleash. But I don’t care.”

He shrugged.

“I love you,” he added. “I love you and that’s all that matters to me, and if making our relationship official is important to you, then we’ll make it official.”

You smiled, tears blurring your vision.

“I’m afraid these journalists are already preparing their headline about us anyway,” you told him. “You were pretty clear out there, about the nature of our relation.”

“I hope you’re ready to face the storm then. There’s no turning back now.”

You smiled.

“With you, Ben, I could face anything.”

He smiled as well, his thumbs moving to brush against your pulse, and his smile turned into a smirk when he felt goosebumps running up your arms because of his gentle touch.

“Forgive me,” he whispered.

You brushed his remark away.

“You idiot, of course you’re forgiven,” you smiled, a tear rolling down your cheek.

The next second, you had wrapped your arms around his neck and was pressing him against you. He held your head against his chest, stroking soothingly your back.

You felt him tensing under your touch, before he would ask you one more question.

“You’re not going to break up with me, right?” he whispered, his tone nervous.

You merely laughed in response, and he helped you drying your cheeks.

“Of course I’m not going to break up with you,” you shook your head. “How could I live without you anyway?”

He made a movement to lean down and kiss you, but the door suddenly opened…

… on Dame Helen Mirren.

She raised an eyebrow at the sight of Ben, and the poor man turned completely crimson.

“Do the two of you need one more minute alone?” she asked, and you struggled not to laugh.

“Sorry,” Ben merely answered, striding towards the door.

“Oh, it’s no bother to me,” she added, an amused glint shining in her eyes at the sight of Ben’s embarrassed behaviour. “After all, I’m pretty sure you didn’t just open the wrong door when you entered the ladies room…”

Ben and you exchanged a glance, before he would walk out, chuckling, his cheeks more flushed than ever.

The actress walked closer to the sink, and you both checked your makeup in the mirror.

“Lovely man,” the elder woman said, applying more red lipsticks on her lips.

“He is,” you nodded, checking your mascara. “But men are a bit stupid sometimes.”

She laughed, walking towards the door again.

“ _Most_ of the time, you mean,” she laughed.

You followed her outside, laughing as well, an you joined Ben down the hall.

“That was funny,” you told him as you both slowly walked down the entrance hall. “You can be sure that I’ll tell your brother about that, and he will never make you forget that _this_ happened.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever felt so embarrassed in my life,” he nodded. “Being caught red handed in the ladies room by Helen Mirren is definitely on the top five list of my most horrible moments.”

“Aren’t we supposed to say _Dame_ Helen Mirren?”

“Don’t make things worse.”

“Don’t worry, when you walked out, she said you were a lovely man.”

He raised an eyebrow, a smirk on his face again.

“Did she?”

You nodded.

“Should I feel worried, as your girlfriend?” you joked.

“Well…” he replied, joking as well. “That’s _Dame_ Helen Mirren after all. I guess you should be worried, yes.”

You laughed, finally stepping into the theater of the Royal Albert Hall where the ceremony was taking place.

“Good luck,” you said, kissing his cheek.

“Good luck,” he answered, and you both walked toward your seats.

You were five rows above him, right next to the alley, and you waited for the ceremony to begin, chatting with your castmates.

And then it began.

You patiently waited for the categories to pass until…

Finally, Helen Mirren walked to the stage to present the prize for Ben’s category as leading actor.

You saw him smile at the sound of his name, and although you couldn’t see his face, you knew he was blushing.

He turned towards you, and you could read that he wasn’t hoping for much, but he gave you a bright smile anyway. Being nominated was already a victory for both of you.

It seemed to take an eternity for the famous actress on stage to open the envelop and read the name that was written on the card.

“And the BAFTA goes to…” she said slowly.

You saw Ben tensing on his seat. You were clenching your little purse so tightly, your knuckles had turned white.

“…Ben Barnes.”

The rest of his cast jumped on their feet in joy, but it took a moment for Ben to stand. You were clapping so hard it was painful, but you didn’t care…

Ben looked up at you again, an aghast smile on his face, but his director pushed him towards the stage. So Ben walked down the stairs that led to the award he had just won, and he climbed on stage, a grin stuck on his face.

The elder actress offered him his award, before leaning closer to him to whisper something in his ear, and he bent down to listen to her.

He blushed fiercely at her remark, but he merely laughed in response.

You guessed it had something to do with the scene in the toilets, and you couldn’t help but laugh.

Silence fell upon the room into the Royal Albert Hall again, and Ben looked at the golden face he had just won.

You could see from here that his hands were shaking, and he was paler than usual.

But he had such a grin on his face…

“Winning an award like this it’s… it’s such an honour,” he said. “It’s a dream coming true really and… when I entered this building I would have never had imagined for a single second that I would win but… I guess I was being pessimistic.”

He ran a trembling hand through his hair.

“Of course I’d like to thank our director, and all the cast and in general every single person who worked on this movie. I wouldn’t be standing here tonight without all of you, guys. I’m not going to list any name because I’m… too upset right now to think straight, and to be honest I have no idea if what I’m saying makes any sense. So if I start giving names I’m sure I’ll forget someone and I’m probably going to disappoint a few people so, let’s not do that. Plus, I don’t want any of you to start snoring on my behalf.”

Laughs echoed through the hall, and Ben waited for silence to settle down again, before resuming his speech.

“I’d just like to thank my parents and my brother, who are watching this on their TV. They’ve always supported me, and I know I wouldn’t be here without them.”

He looked for you threw the crowd, searching throughout the famous faces. And his dark eyes finally rested on you once he had spotted you, his smile widening.

“I also would like to thank… my beautiful girl who always supported me throughout this crazy project of mine and… who stayed up to wait for me to come home, and helped me learning my lines every night, and… took me to the hospital when I broke my wrist, that was a fun night.”

A new wave of laughter rang through the hall, and Ben used the diversion to catch his breath.

“Thank you because… I love you and I wouldn’t have been able to go this far without you. Thank you.”

He took a step back, and everyone clapped again as he hugged Helen Mirren before walking down the stage.

But he didn’t stop when he reached his seat, his eyes still fixed on yours, and you knew as he climbed up the last flight of stairs what he was about to do.

So you stood up and caught him in your arms when he rushed to you and crushed your lips together.

You held him tightly against you for a moment.

“I knew you could do it,” you whispered in his ear.

“It’s all thanks to you,” he replied, holding you even more tightly against him.

You could feel that he was still shaking.

“What did Helen Mirren tell you?” you asked him.

He chuckled.

“That she was happy that at least two people had had fun tonight.”

You both laughed, and he freed you from his embrace, suddenly aware of the stares set upon the two of you, and he walked back to his seat, still grinning.

That night, you came back with two trophies, one golden face each. Although, they remained on the table for that night…

…Ben was too eager to take your dress off of you to put your awards in any safer place.


End file.
